The Undeclared War On Gay Marriage

For reasons unrevealed at the moment, religious advocates have invested a great deal of time, effort, energy and resources into preventing the legalization of gay marriage. But has anyone ever stopped to ask; why preventing this legalization (in the United States) is so important? To date, the only rational explanation I have heard is the view… “They make me feel uncomfortable. I don’t want to see two guys being intimate in public.” Incidentally, the sight of Mormons and Jehovah Witnesses out in public make a whole lot of people feel uncomfortable. But for some reason, I have never heard that reasoning directed towards two women.

Interestingly enough, Lesbian couples often experience heterosexual guys drooling over them while verbalizing manage tois fantasies. Now, let me get this straight [no pun intended]; it’s OK for homosexuals to satisfy heterosexual sex fantasies (and entertain us in all sorts of ways on TV and in movies)… but it’s NOT OK for them to legally wed? Gay marriage aside, this sounds like EXPLOITATION to me! And the view that homosexuality is an abomination is not even relevant. Is heterosexual prostitution any less of an abomination? Yet, heterosexual prostitutes can legally wed simply because they are heterosexual. And (heterosexual) murderers can get married while still serving a life-sentence in prison! Am I beginning to hear the words… DOUBLE STANDARD? Is it even fair for any religious group to impose their beliefs on everyone else? Especially, if the issue at hand is a Civil War regarding Civil Rights… not religion.

For the sake of argument; consider the view that intimate homosexuals make homophobes uncomfortable. SO WHAT? And that’s the real problem! They need a bigger reason than that! This is why they transform gay marriage into a religious matter. And everyone all of a sudden becomes a devout Christian. Even though the Bible says nothing about marriage (i.e. who can or who cannot). Organizations like The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, (i.e. Mormons) will do practically anything (including LIE, CHEAT and DECEIVE) to get their way. This is some how OK for them; everyone else will spend eternity in flames! The civil rights of homosexuals are non-existent and a civil war must be waged… without anyone noticing. And to make matters worse, there are more homosexuals in the world than there are Mormons! Don’t believe the small percentages biased people quote from biased surveys based on faulty data!

I’ve heard the view, “We must protect the traditional definition of marriage!” In other words, legalizing gay marriage would some how taint said definition. Do we speak ENGLISH in the United States? Plan-B is a Civil War with words! Can you name one English word that has not undergone a series of definition changes over the last 400 years? Why does the word “marriage” all of a sudden need protecting? Is that even a Civil Right? As a matter of fact, this particular word has already undergone a few dozen changes! Why? Because marriage is not exclusively a religious matter. Ergo, you have to be a little more specific when you say, “traditional.” And the following are a few of those traditions in marriage:

Civil (a wedding performed by a Government Official);
Common Law (a verbal agreement to become husband and wife);
Monogamy (the state of having one sexual partner at a time);
Polygamy (a person has more than one spouse, consent);
-Polygyny (husband has several wives);
-Polyandry (wife has several husbands);
Bigamy (a person has more than one spouse, non-consent);
Arranged (two families decide; a son and daughter from each will wed);
Child (an adult legally weds a child under age 15);
Morganatic (no inheritance to wife and children);
Hypergyny (a spouse with a higher social status);
Sogyny (a spouse with same status);
Open (spouses consent to sexual relationships outside marriage);
Henogamy (one male-child in family can marry);
Line (adding a new spouse in time, down the line);
Trial (couple lives together temporarily to see how it goes)!

And the list goes on and on and on! Even though many of these types of marriages are not legal in the United States, my point is; over the course of time, heterosexuals have RE-DEFINED MARRIAGE so many times it ain’t even funny! What difference would adding “gay marriage” to this very long list of traditions really make? The truth of the matter; heterosexuals can do what ever comes to mind when it comes to holy matrimony.

I have also heard the view; “We have to protect the sanctity of Holy Matrimony!” In all honesty, if you wanted to do that, you would invest all of that time, effort, energy and resources into challenging the Sanctity of Divorce! Gay marriage has very little to do with it! Religious views aside, according to The State of Our Unions 2005 (a report issued by the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University [2006-9 available online]), 37% of American children grow up with exclusively one parent due to divorce. In new situations where parents had Joint-Custody in 2005, 44% of custodial mothers and 56% of custodial fathers were either separated or divorced. And there were only 1,080,000 divorces that year. But they were not necessarily from among the 2,250,000 weddings that took place the same year. So why start a civil war on the civil rights of homosexuals?

The view hypothetical; if 1,080,000 out of 2,250,000 ended in divorce in 2005, that divorce rate would be 48%. This is why the speculated Divorce Rate averages 50%. And that count does not include all the Legal Separations. However, in all probability 20% (450,000) of those 2,250,000 marriages will end in divorce within 5-years; and 50% within 10-years. Bottom line; the Holy Matrimony homophobic heterosexuals claim they want to protect so bad is primarily endangered by heterosexual marriage… not gay marriage! Ergo, marriage in the United States among heterosexuals is not as pretty a picture as anti-gay marriage advocates purport. In all probability, no more than 10% of (heterosexual) marriages in the United States will last a lifetime. So, why do anti-gay advocates (religious or otherwise) insist on fighting a civil war on the civil rights of American citizens who happen to be gay?

How Cohabitation Has Changed The Definition of Marriage For Many

My opinions of cohabitation have changed drastically over the last decade. I was raised in a home where my mother always said that living together before you married is not a good idea. Well when I went off to college in 1998, I met a serious girlfriend. I decided the rent would be cheaper and we would be closer if we just lived together. Well after about a year everything came crashing down, even to the point police were getting called by the neighbors because of the arguments. My relationship ended with my failed attempt at suicide.

When I was trying to put my life back together I started going to church. This is where I first heard that cohabitation was not a good idea. Before I ever sent to church, I thought everyone cohabitated to see if they could get along with who they wanted to marry. Now I have heard numerous reports about the benefits of waiting to live together until marriage. Since I have been in the church, I have not had any type of sexual contact with a dating mate. I really want to wait for my honeymoon with whoever that may be. It has been about 8 years since me and my girlfriend broke up. I was a best man at my best friends wedding last year, and he was so excited for his honeymoon because he had been dating his bride now for 4 years. He moved in with her following the wedding.

I decided that that type of model is the way a marriage should be. I just can’t see how someone could not be sexually active if they are living together before marriage. That would make the whole wedding ceremony just a piece of paper. I want to remember my wedding night as the first day me and my wife began our sexual relationship. That may be old fashioned, but if I can’t say no before marriage, I’ll probably never be able to say no to other females after marriage.

Of Superstitions, Wedding Invitations and Marriage Breakdowns

Are you a superstitious person, consulting every almanac on good and bad tidings – even visiting a clairvoyant to plan your every move – lest you meet with ill fortune or that your enterprise may not achieve its intended goals? Or are you a modern person, forward looking, scientifically- minded and always sneering at the ways of the superstitious?

Superstitions are definitely not the sole domain of Asians. Most peoples of the world hold some superstitious views regarding many things in life. For instance, some Westerners believe Friday the 13th to be a rather inauspicious day to hold important events like marriage. For some, running into a black cat could spell some ill luck or misfortune coming one’s way. For the Chinese, almost everything you utter or anything you do – all have associated superstitious dos and don’ts. According to some Chinese prophets of gloom, failure to adhere to these guides could result in dire consequences.

One friend of mine, an ethnic Chinese living in the West, became sort of a ‘victim’ of superstitions. The story went like this. On his wedding day he inadvertently omitted to include his best friend and confidante in the wedding invitations. This friend, another ethnic Chinese, was inflamed. He showed me an obscure Chinese text forecasting ill-fortune to anyone who omitted to do so, as the above-mentioned bride-groom did.

I made it to the wedding invitations list of this mutual friend of ours but I dared not reveal to him the superstitious belief associated with the confidante’s omission. The opportunity finally afforded itself when, sadly speaking, my friend’s marriage broke down and he filed for divorce. I was the solicitor acting for him at the High Court’s divorce proceedings. He was granted a decree nisi, and he came home with me, depressed and tired. I only told him the superstitious foreboding days after his divorce.

Perhaps my divorced friend’s case should not be cited as a case for the superstitions as his case is atypical. In normal circumstances who would leave out a good friend’s name in preparing a wedding invitations list?

Needless to say, a superstition remains a superstition, no more and no less. In this modern, 21st Century world of high-tech, high-speed Internet connection and digitization, superstitions seem hopelessly out of sync with the times. My advice to would-be brides and bride-grooms is: it is always wise to ‘play safe’ and err on the side of caution. True, you have the final say who are going to be your wedding guests, but a well-thought out weddings invitations name list, that is inclusive rather than exclusive, will do you a lot of good in the long run. Trust me.